When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
