whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
