she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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