he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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