As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize