he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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