Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
