Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
