and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
