the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize