He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
