She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
