yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
