i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
