We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
