Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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