My first STD was from a foam party
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
