Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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