tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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