I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
