Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
