K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
