wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
