you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
