She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
