Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
