i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
