Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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