A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize