Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
