I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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