Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Drunk is not a location!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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