All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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