Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize