a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
