I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I want to have your abortion
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
