She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
