Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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