The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
