i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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