The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
