I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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