I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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