so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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