I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You can't just leave with hair like that
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Randomize
