i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
do herpes really smell.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize