my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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