I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
