Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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