ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
