Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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