yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
