Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
