Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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