Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
