Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
