I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
