Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
